For the past six months I have been in pain. It’s really nothing, compared to the pain of many truly suffering. But the pain, constantly intermittent, has been a learning experience.

I don’t like pain. It obfuscates my outlook. It alters my attitude. It influences my identity.

One of my physical pains has been in my right heel. As a dedicated jogger, this makes exercise excruciating. You have to go on. But the day after a run, I would hobble. I found myself impersonating Marty Feldman in Young Frankenstein, dragging a leg slowly to avoid placing a direct load on the heel. Most everyone has a solution for such pain. Ice. Heat. Tennis balls. Rollers. Stretching. Rest. Dr. Google has conflicting reasons for pain, symptoms for each condition, and as usual, isn’t much help. So for the past six months, I soldier on.

Running Riverside Drive one Saturday morning, each heel strike creating that twinge, I thought a lot about pain. I was alone in my thoughts, as the fast runners in my group were way ahead of me, and the slow runners behind. “Why, God, am I in pain?” God listens. “Can You fix this?” Sometimes when I talk to God I feel better. In the rising morning sun, I realized that there is pain, and there are trials. I think it is important to understand the differences.

The source of pain is inside us. It can be a physical pain. It can be an emotional pain. The pain could be sporadic, occasional, or continuous. How we deal with pain varies.

I think most of us try to ignore pain. At least initially. Surely this pain will go away. It’s not that bad. It’s a normal part of aging. I’ll be okay tomorrow. But tomorrow, the pain says “Good morning! Time to think about me again!” So we try to suppress pain. There are a lot of ways to suppress it. We can abdicate, by not doing whatever causes the pain. We can medicate, with pills or potions. We accept pain. We change our expectations about living without pain. We overcome pain. This of course is most challenging. Overcoming pain requires treatment, and that treatment is often long and painful in and of itself. Overcoming pain requires purpose, direction, and motivation. Overcoming pain is lifelong, particularly for wounds of our spirit.

I wondered if my pain was a trial. With each step I realized how pain is part of a trial, but how a trial is not pain alone. The Bible teaches that we may experience trials, sharing examples of people like us. Sarai, Hannah, Gideon, Samson, Samuel, Joseph, Job, Hezekiah, Nehemiah, Isaiah, Jeremiah, Mary the mother of Jesus, Mary Magdalene, the other Mary, Paul…the names are endless and the stories are so memorable.

As we think about pain and trial, we can look to Saul and David, their story told in the books of Samuel and Chronicles. Saul, the first king of Israel, lived a life of episodic emotional pain, and in response, tried to kill the persons he thought caused the pain. Saul ultimately ended his own life at a battle. David was brought from a lowly shepherd role to that of a warrior king, and in the lifelong journey David took each painful experience to the Lord. David experienced trial after trial, with wounds of both physical and emotional distress. Why would we characterize Saul’s experiences as pain, and David’s as trials? I think the difference is clear as we look at the outcomes.

Saul’s kingship began with great fanfare, and ended with ignominy. He knew what he should do, and did not. He knew who he should listen to, and did not. He was anointed a leader, given a kingdom, and he lost it in acts of disobedience. His focus, even at his final moment, was on his self. He wanted to end his life to avoid dishonor, asking others to kill him, attempting suicide, and ultimately dying by the hand of the enemy he feared. Saul rejected the truth, and chose to find answers in lies. Saul lived a life of pain.

David, throughout his life, faced death time and time again, and each time he focused outwardly on the Lord. From his first experience fighting Goliath, at the death of a newborn, at the loss of a grown and rebellious son, David relied on God. David recorded his experiences and his emotions in many of the Psalms. His musings speak of hurt, fear, sorrow and anguish. His writings also express joy that most cannot understand, a joy that led him to shout, sing, and dance. In writing songs and poetry to release those feelings, in seeking counsel through a spiritual dialog, David treasured a life of trial.

Are our pains trials? Sometimes. I think most of the time pain is just pain. Our bodies have limits, and when we exceed those, pain results. Most often pain is the outcome of a poor personal decision. Can pain be a trial? Sometimes. If pain is a trial, though, its cause is most often outside our control.

What characterizes a trial? Purpose. In the modern legal system, a trial has a singular purpose, to bring forth the truth. In our lives, each trial has a purpose. The trial brings pain, and yet the trial points to the most important truth. No matter what, God loves us. His love soothes the soul. His love binds up the brokenhearted. His love strengthens the weak. His love is a light in the darkness. His love saves.

Our trials can be quick, or they can be lifelong. Our trials can be physical, or they can be emotional. In our trials, though, we are never alone. God is with us. God knows our condition, completely understands us, and loves us anyway. We can do nothing to keep God away.

The best part? All God wants is us. He wants us. There is a word for this — faith. Faith in God. In our trials, may we look to God and place our faith in Him. The trial has only that purpose. Faith.

So today as I step gingerly on the right foot after another Saturday morning jog, the pain continues. I don’t think it is a trial. But today I hope the pain reminds me that in any trial, God is there. God will never leave me. God loves. In your pain, in your trial, may God become ever more real to you.