Dear Daughter,

It’s 1:03 am.  I’m awake.  I wasn’t awake.  I was dreaming.  It was a good dream. But the dog was dreaming too.  He began to “run” in his sleep and his feet brushed the wall loudly enough to awaken me.  As a vibrant college student, you may just now be settling down to what I hope is a good night’s sleep.

I don’t know about dreams, and their meaning.  Sometimes people try to make too much about dreams.   I think we all recognize dreams are the mind wrestling with something, often our own feelings or fears.  This dream, though, was about you and me.

There you were, in a car, with your hair pulled back in a pony tail.  You had a nice shirt on, but you had rolled up the sleeves.  You reminded me of the tough girl in Grease. What was her name?  Anyway, out of your rolled up sleeve, you pulled out a pack of Marlboro’s.  You drew one out, lit it, and looked so very cool as you drew in the smoke.  I burst into tears.

.

In a little while, I entered the car, in the back.  I pulled the cigarette out of your mouth, grabbed the pack and threw them down, and stomped on them with some anger.  Tears were streaming down my face.  You looked at me with some shock, and said “But you let me do this…you never said anything.”  My voice trembling, I shouted “I didn’t say anything because I love you.  You’re a big girl, and make your own decisions.  But now, I’m telling you, don’t ever do this again.  Ever!  If you do, your school is over.  No more college.  You’re coming home, and you’re going to beauty school!”  My tears continued to stream, and yours began as well.

Then, as we looked at each other, I related “This is not about smoking.  It’s about temptation.  You’re being tempted to do something, and something wrong.” I went on, “You are doing something to fill a void in your life, and you can’t fill it except with love.”  We hugged, and cried and realized how deeply we loved each other as father and daughter.

At this point, my dream ended as the dog’s dream woke me up.  But the thoughts about the dream continued.  I began to see how the dream recounts in some way our own journey through life, and how our choices and actions are addressed in God’s Word.  In a way, my dream about you was also a dream about me.

In Ephesians 4:30, the Bible says “And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption.”  In the dream, my tears over your choice of smoking are like the grief God feels when we sin. We may not know God cries over our sin.  We may think that because nothing is said that our sin must not really matter.  In reality, God grieves when we sin, and His tears make it harder for Him to enjoy watching His children grow.

In 1 Corinthians 10:13, the Bible says “The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.”  In the dream, your choice to smoke is acting on a temptation to sin, a temptation that we all face.  Avoiding the temptation is impossible.  It could literally seize you in a strong grip.  But God will provide both a way to stop acting on that temptation, as well as the strength to endure continued temptation, as our faithful Father.

In 1 John 4:16, the Bible says “We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them.” In the dream, our hug with deep tears represents that moment when we realize God’s love in our every day life. As believers, we have the incredible richness of life in which we see God’s love for us every day.  Instead of filling our lives with bad choices, we can recognize that God loves us and lives in us, completely fulfilling all our needs.

So here it is, the middle of the night, and my dream remains strongly in my memory. I wanted to write you, not knowing if you face some life choice at school.  I know you’re not like Betty Rizzo from Grease, and are no doubt doing your best to be Sandy.  But even Sandy tried to be a bad girl to meet her needs, donning the leather and joining the gang.

We can laugh, seeing you as the bad girl, but I hope you’ll also remember God’s Word and His incredible love for you at this wonderful time of life in college. Live in His love.

With as much love as I have,

Your earthly Father